Pick Up The Pieces of A Broken Heart

Your relationship has ended. Now what?

When an intimate, romantic relationships ends, it can feel like someone has died. And in a way, there has been a death—the death of a couple. Your relationship was an entity unto itself, involving two people who loved and cared for one another. Together, you created a unit, sharing your lives, your hearts, your space, your things. When you lose a relationship, that togetherness disappears, and in the wake of that loss you can feel untethered, drifting, lost. Alone.

After a break up, so much changes. From the mundane—you no longer see his razor and shaving gel in the bathroom anymore—to the profound—there’s no one sharing in your future plans now.

Healing from a break up requires adjusting to all of those changes. Sometimes, to try to cope, we focus on adjusting well, and looking like we’re adjusting well. We refresh our closets and treat ourselves to a few nice splurges to affirm our attractiveness. We redouble our efforts in our professions, working longer or harder. We get right back “out there” and find new people to date.

And while time usually does, as they say, “heal all wounds,” sometimes underneath all of those activities there’s an undercurrent of pain, anguish and unresolved emotion that keeps you from truly healing.

Moving on from a relationship requires more than just doing different things and adjusting to the surface changes. We also need to understand and accept the loss—and the reasons behind it.

He Broke Up with Me. What Did I Do Wrong?

If you’ve lost a relationship because your partner ended it, you may be swirling in a sea of painful emotions. It’s normal—and healthy—to question your role in the break up and to want to uncover what part you played in the relationship’s failure. However, many women find that they can get stuck in self-defeating or negative lines of questioning that are ultimately unproductive.

• What did I do wrong? 
• Am I unlovable?
• Why wasn’t I good enough?
• Why couldn’t I make it work?
• Why did I do/say what I did? 
• If only I had…

If this sounds like you, hypnotherapy and coaching can help you break the cycle of unproductive questioning. We can replace self-defeating questions with more useful exploration to help you gain a more positive, constructive perspective.

I Broke Up with Him. Why Am I So Miserable Now?

If you were the one to end the relationship, you might be struggling now with powerful and painful thoughts that have taken you by surprise.

• Why am I missing him so much?
• This is what I wanted, why am I so sad?
• Our relationship was terrible, why do I wish I still had it?
• I should feel happier now.
• I should be proud of myself.
• Maybe I should have tried harder or given him another chance.
• If only I had…

The confidence that you had felt in choosing to end the relationship is now replaced by self-doubt. Left unaddressed, such self-doubt can creep into other parts of your life, or into a new relationship.

To heal from this break up may require focusing on self-affirming thoughts, restoring confidence and reconciling the positive memories of the relationship and person you’ve chosen to let go.

Hypnotherapy can help your healing by speaking to your subconscious mind that’s stuck on the “shoulds,” “what if’s,” and “if only’s.”

I Feel Like I’m Trapped in My Relationship.

As the old Neil Sedaka song goes, “breaking up is hard to do.”

If you’re unhappy in a relationship, and know that a break up is for the best, you’re likely suffering through some very uncomfortable discord.

In your conscious mind, you have a list of reasons why the relationship should end. When you separate from your emotional attachment to your partner, you believe that breaking up would be healthier for you.

But in your subconscious mind, there are emotions, memories or thoughts that say the opposite. Desire for security, familiarity, and positive feelings associated with the person you’ve loved create a counter tide that pulls you back into the relationship.

Your conscious mind and unconscious mind wage a battle that leaves you stuck, drained of energy and hope, and perhaps even angry.

Healing from Relationships through Hypnotherapy

Because of the intimacy between people together, a relationship affects:

• how we see ourselves
• how we respect ourselves
• how we treat ourselves
• how we value ourselves compared to how we value the significant other
• our deepest hopes for the future

These perceptions turn into beliefs that are stored in our subconscious mind, becoming our mind’s story for who we are. A relationship can affect our beliefs about ourselves by:

1. How we were treated by the other—positively or negatively
2. What we said to the other—positive or negative—and what the other said to us
3. How we felt in the relationship—good or bad
4. The hopes and dreams that we tied to this relationship
5. The meaning of the relationship

Your subconscious mind doesn’t know what’s real or not. As far as it’s concerned, the beliefs about yourself that are stored there from your relationship are real. The conscious mind is responsible for determining what’s real, but it doesn’t have the power to change the subconscious mind. So the conflict that exists between reality and subconscious reality can create real pain and discordance that prevents you from healing and moving on from your break up.

By speaking to the subconscious in hypnosis, your hypnotherapist can distract your mind from painful stimuli (such as memories or negative feelings you may be dwelling on) and refocus its attention on more productive goals—such as understanding your core values and how you wish to be treated in relationship. Your hypnotherapist can also help your subconscious mind to see your past relationship issues from a different perspective.

When a relationship ends, the pain, grief and loneliness that result may cloud our perceptions. The uncertainty and lack of clarity keep us stuck in sadness or in danger of repeating behaviors that may rear in future relationships.

By exploring your break up in hypnotherapy, we can connect with your subconscious mind to bring to the surface the perceptions and behaviors that hold meaning to you. We can explore the beliefs and values that played out in your relationship, to help you understand and accept your break up, as well as move forward in a positive, hopeful way.

Get Your FREE Hypnotherapy Consultation Now

If you’re ready to let the past go and move on from your ended relationship, The Life Enhancement Centre can help.

Our sessions are tailored to help you achieve your individual outcomes and goals. Start your personalized path to healing from your lost relationship with hypnosis by setting up your FREE Hypnotherapy consultation now.

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